Secret Shades

I’ll play these keys for hours until my hands start to turn purple and cold. Waiting for the creative release that seems to mark the conclusion and seal what has been stirring inside. Pressing in for the overflow that is worthy to be sung as praise to You. Even so, You say it’s all a sweet sound…

It’s like watching a painting transform before your eyes. You see the completed piece in your minds eye, but then you watch from the preperation of the canvas to the first pencil sketch, from the first brush stroke to the acrylic seal, it all comes to life right in front of you.

I see it building
I see it taking shape
You add just one shade over the last
Bring about the depth

These are the “good ol’ days”. Without even noticing I will have spent hours locked up in my room writing and playing, reading and writing. Pages are scattered everywhere around me on my bedroom floor, scribbles of ink decorate the environment, and the same set of chords repeat in expectation.

This fellowship is where my  heart feels at home. Here, I can be restless or at peace, alive and deeply breathing, fearful or hopeful. I can be honest and vulnerable, uninhibited and disconnected. It’s here that I can see what I’m supposed to see.

As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that this is the secret place. I find myself sitting in – living in – the middle of what was spoken of. So quickly, it’s been fulfilled.

I spent some time re-reading through my book this morning. I read from October to January. I read through anxiety, persistent wondering, and anticipation changing into peace, assurance, and hope. What an encouragement to see how God changes hearts!

Looking back, I see that He changed it all in the context of the secret place…


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