Hearted

I never knew that clearing out my phone – going through photos, videos, and notes – could turn into such an analytical, nostalgic, and insightful experience.

In each of the pictures, each of the notes, I saw pieces of me. From picture to picture, I was reminded of growth, hope, lessons learned, and the faithfulness of Jesus. I saw the seasons change in the background and my heart change inside.

Some days I feel like I’ve aged a thousand years, but day to day I see I’m getting younger. My faith growing to a refined simplicity in the knowledge and revelation of Love. I start to see the child-like faith that Jesus talked about. I see a gentle spirit spring forth from broken earth, surrounded by hope.

So much of what is going on these days is about learning how to love…
Love Jesus, love others.

Words have such power. Power to change hearts; to give life, to give death. Our words, and even our tone, can can shift the atmosphere.

“A gentle answer deflects anger but harsh words make tempers flare” – Proverbs 15:1

I’m really trying to be good-natured, but I find the sarcasm and joking stabs to be draining. And I’m just so sensitive these days. I feel so lonely and homesick for Jesus and for Jesus-people who understand me…

I’m starting to understand more of what’s happening.

I can think of a thousand things I’ve been trying to hold together these days. I’m exhausted. I have a million things going on up in my brain, with no release…yet. It’s draining.
Still, I know that you make all things work together for my good.
You are good.

The discouragement and trials come at me from every angle it seems on days like today.
My hope is in Him.
I can’t wait for the day where we can love Him and be loved by Him in the way we were created for. I can’t wait for the day when the whole earth will know of His faithfulness and His unfailing love for us. I can’t wait for the day when the heartbreak ends and Love, in its fullness, rules the earth.

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