April left me quick to reach for my heart as if to steady myself in the midst of all the fullness.
May left me reaching for more.
Ever-flowing, overflowing, honesty.
This month has left me mostly discouraged.
I’ve been fighting to stay strong
To stay focused
To press on
But this match has left me exhausted
With my faithfulness that can’t be trusted.
Where is this fullness with which I once lived?
But You remind me that
You made the waters and
You hung the stars and
You part the waters of my heart
And you make a way
I saw the vision, and I pressed on for so long. Trusting it’d come, but it seems I’m on the brink of giving up; so sick of waiting. But You say, if you’re sick of waiting when the vision seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will not be delayed — it’ll surely take place.
Oh, that I would be faithful in the place of prayer. Contending for the vision I’ve seen that’s not here and not now but sure to arrive.
That I would not lose hope in the struggle, this tension of expectation.
Not giving into apathy, playing on the safe side.
That I’d be faithful in focus.
Risking disappointment, knowing the outcome would be greater than anything I’d lose.
On that day I’ll finally see and count it all as worth it in learning everything it takes to hold on.
Hold on to the vision.
For He is faithful to deliver.
Faithful to complete.
Faithful to never disappoint.
I will not be let down.
“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin” — Zech. 4:10
Something’s got to change. Something’s about to change.
The human heart lives in this tension of waiting. Waiting for tomorrow, waiting for what’s next, waiting for our Great Love to return.
My heart is so expectant.
You do not disappoint.