The Light of Emeralds

I made a chalkboard that I hung in my new kitchen with the prophetic words of life spoken over me by a faithful brother/friend in this season. Maybe I’ll keep those words on there forever as a testimony to the kindness and faithfulness of God in EVERY SEASON of the soul.




A friend of mine (you can read her writing here) wrote these simply beautiful words about her husband that I believe epitomizes the long-suffering, patient, and courageous love of one person for another in weakness:

Marriage is such hard work. It really is. The longer it goes, the more comfortable you settle in, and the easier it is to be: selfish, impatient, rude, critical, demanding, and the list could go on and on forever.

He continues to fall asleep with forgiveness in his heart, and wake up with hope for a new day – no matter what emotional whirlwind I’ve put him through.

I’m so thankful for the man He is, and the God within him.


I spent the last week alone in a house that was supposed to be ours, sitting at my dining room table, crying my eyes out like some bad movie.
I don’t understand everything that the Father is doing here, and I feel totally unprepared for this, but I’m trusting that He’ll tell me if/when I need to know.
Otherwise, I’m simply trusting because HE’S WORTHY OF ALL OF MY HOPE AND CONFIDENCE.

Either way, He’s doing a NEW THING and whether I understand it or not I WILL LEARN, I WILL GROW.

This knowledge – the GOODNESS of GOD – has restored HOPE to my heart in these days.

Make no mistake, it’s been a long, humbling (and even embarrassing at times) process to get to this point, but I am determined to see the faithfulness of God even in situations I don’t understand.
I am determined to learn and grow, that the Lamb may receive the reward of his (long)-suffering (patient, enduring, self-sacrificing, courageous love) IN ME.

I’ve been doing a lot of writing in secret places to process what little bit my heart and mind can comprehend in this season. Mostly, I just want to keep track of the ups and downs (there seems to be so many) that my heart is going through. I KNOW, like so many other things in my life, the Lord will use this to encourage another.

Currently, I’m going through a series called “Defining the Relationship” by Danny Silk from Bethel Church in Redding, CA. I am so thankful for all of the glorious resources we have through the Body of Christ in this day and age.

The GOAL of this series is to impart COURAGE – courage to either push through the challenging realities of the relationship or the courage to walk away from the relationship.


Here I go…

(I am charged with expectation)



One comment

  1. I have been thinking about you. I can’t begin to grasp the heaviness your heart must feel, but…one thing I am sure of; your faith is so strong, it will carry you through, and I am grateful you have that. Better things are on the horizon!

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