My heart has COME ALIVE and I’m realizing that as painful as all of this has been, I wouldn’t trade what the Lord has done in my heart for ANY of it. No matter how much I had hoped and dreamed…
This really IS sweeter.
I’m FINDING MYSELF and STEPPING INTO my persona (how Heaven sees me).
I’m finding names and I know that I know that I KNOW the Lord calls me:
He just keeps adding names and my heart just keeps EXPANDING under the revelation of the TRUTH.
I’m being tested in responding to things I didn’t see or things I cannot see, and I’m declaring that HE IS GOOD IN ALL OF HIS WAYS.
My prayer is: “COME AND HAVE YOUR WAY; WHATEVER IT LOOKS LIKE. DO WHAT ONLY YOU CAN DO. COME AND BURN UP THAT WHICH NEEDS TO BE BURNED UP and PRESERVE THAT WHICH NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED. I TRUST YOU. YOUR WAY IS BETTER. SO MUCH BETTER.”
My heart is just settled.
It’s found peace.
I don’t find a need to war in prayer; interceding for my heart’s desire.
Instead I feel quieted and FREE TO BE because I trust that the Father has it ALL under control. HE KNOWS THE BEST WAY.
The very fact that I can even say or think or FEEL any of this is the MERCY and GRACE of GOD on my life. It’s the KINDNESS OF GOD that my heart is turned towards him. It’s in the revelation of his LOVE – his goodness, his faithfulness – that I am compelled to love him back!
THIS will be tested.
Over and over and over.
Knowing that he has made my life a story of RESTORATION, I thought we had already gone through the restoration. For whatever reason, I thought we were done. I got married, got hurt, was broken, and the Lord brought restoration to my heart in so many ways, but I’m seeing that the STORY OF RESTORATION KEEPS ON GOING AND GOING AND GOING.
And I wondered last night, if maybe I would learn the BEAUTIFUL ART of RESTORATION, going lower and being restored, going lower and being restored, over and over and over and over.
I had a vision of a girl, years down the road through learning this art, that was so FREE and FLEXIBLE and WILLING to go wherever the Spirit led. Like a tree, whichever way the wind blows, I will bend.
A girl that is so willing and trusting and happy to bend in whichever way the Good Leader wishes, joyfully and peacefully trusting, saying, “Whatever it looks like, come and have your way.”
I see the transformation of the perfectionist, accomplishment driven, black-and-white, planning and expecting heart into one that is MOLDABLE, YIELDING, and ABANDONING, not in weakness but in COURAGE; in HOPE.
I heard the Holy Spirit tell me yesterday, “YOU ARE PURSUED IN THE SAME WAY YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL; you don’t have to be anything, do anything, or say anything, you just ARE.”
I don’t have to BE anything.
I don’t have to DO anything.
It’s so SWEET and FREE to live like this!
It’s been so good to just get lost in what the Holy Spirit is doing. I pull out of my drive way or I sit down on the couch, in all the simple little things I hear the Holy Spirit say, “It’s just you and me right now” – he says it with such JOY, like it’s so sweet and precious, and my heart just swells from being loved and ENJOYED.
I don’t feel worried.
I don’t feel anxious.
I feel HOPEFUL and EXPECTANT and HAPPY.
GOD IS BRINGING RESTORATION.
He makes all things new.
This is the promise over my life.
EVEN IN THIS, I WIN!
I GET RESTORATION.
Whatever it looks like, it’s the best way.
It’s the GRACE of God that I can go from such grief and despair to such JOY and HOPE overflowing from my heart.
Yet still I belong to you;
You hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
leading me to a glorious destiny.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
I desire you more than anything on earth.
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
He is mine forever.
Praise the Lord God, the God of Israel, who alone does such wonderful things.
Praise His glorious name forever!
Let the whole earth be filled with his glory.
Amen and Amen!